A letter to remember

Hi ,

I wrote this to express my feelings for you.
How I love and Hate you at the same time.
You're maybe not my first in so many things still i want you to be my last.
You make me believe that forever do exist and made a promise that WE are FOREVER.
I once became your queen and you're my king. I love you despite of everything I love you even if its hurts but, hey pal that doesn't mean that I'm okay. It hurts like hell ! It keeps me awake every night thinking what is wrong? just like those movie I've watch, I'm asking myself? "am i not enough?". funny right ? yeah. but , hell! I'm sick and tired of crying every night. i love you. I really do but what happen? can we still fix this? hey honey I miss you so damn much. I hate you for doing those things that you knew will hurt me. I hate you for not thinking of us. I hate you but still i want to be with you. I want to laugh and cry with you. I really don't know what happen. What I want and need right now is your warm embrace. They say i should stop this. I really want to but a part of still believe in US. I love you. Do you still feel the same as before? if not, can please say it to me? could you please at least talk to me and explain everything? Is this really what you want? its kinda hard and it hurts me so much. Just say it please.